Husbands As Story Fodder, Part 2

Last week, I talked about how my husband affects my writing day and what contribution he has to my books (which is not very much). But he does indirectly help me a ton in one department: I have a very good template for a happy, healthy, long-term relationship, which I can either apply to develop a convincing romance, or I can break to totally screw over my characters.

At present, fanciful daydreams excluded, I have two proper novels I'm working on. One involves a couple that falls in love during the book, and the other involves an already-married couple that's trying to get back to each other. In an effort to avoid the eye-rolling tropes romance can fall into, and to try and make these characters real and lovable, I ask myself, "What would I do if it was Rick?"

My rule of thumb for romantic plots is to make the reader (myself, really) fall in love with the characters as they fall in love with each other. So what better way than to include stand-ins for the things I love about my husband?

I'm sure I'll think of more after I've posted this, but here are a few things I apply to fictional relationships...

Big General Things (The Sappy Stuff)

• Honesty: It seems obvious, but how many times have you seen characters in fiction deliberately hiding things from each other? How often is the plot completely solved by one character explaining something simple to the other?
• Trying to fix things: And maybe failing--because hey, we still want a story. But isn't it more fun to watch two characters try to communicate and misunderstand each other, than for us to be hitting our heads against the wall screaming, Just tell him!
• Gradual attraction: One of the romance tropes I've never liked in categorical romance is how the instant the hero appears on the page, the heroine is swooning over how beautiful and amazing he is. That winds up feeling forced and fake to me, because I don't love the hero (and there's no sexy actor to make up the difference). Allowing the characters time to fall in love properly also allows me to fall in love properly.
• Complementary personalities: I want characters to have a reason to love each other. Not just attraction, not just the convenience of being in the right place at the right time (oh look, we're both involved in The Plot!)--but true, honest, "I love how he cares about x and it shows his tender side," and "She's so fantastic at y, and I always wished I could be like that." Attractions that make sense for each character's personalities and longings.
• Individual arcs AND relationship arc: My mantra is always "characters before roles." Both participants of the relationship need to be individuals, with differences of perspective and judgment. And I think the relationship arc needs to reflect those differences. The worst thing in the world is the character who's obviously just "the love interest," and has very little else to them.

Little Details (The Silly Stuff)

• Wanting to share: Most things that pop into my head, I immediately want to tell my husband about later. Things I notice, cars that do stupid things on the drive to work, the church sign by our house that changes every few weeks. They're little and pointless but it's just nice to tell those experiences to someone.
• Noticing things they would like: Oh, he would really appreciate the humor in that. Hey, they have berry pies here, maybe I should get him one. Look at that red and black dress, he'd just love that.
• Noticing things they wouldn't like: These cookies at work have coconut in them, good thing he's not here. Oh man, he wouldn't have been able to stand that person. I know he thinks this show is silly, so I'll watch it before he gets home.
• Goes without saying: I went ahead and got this thing / ate the thing / got rid of the thing--I figured you wouldn't mind. Of course not, I assumed you already had.
• In jokes: We watch people on The Amazing Race start bickering and have complete breakdowns, and talk about how odd some of their arguments are. Later, we're on a road trip, and he gives me a wrong direction. Without batting an eye, cue an exchange of mock accusations, blame-laying, and fake yelling. Then, "okay I'm done now," "me too."
• Stories usually include him: When I was in vet school, my husband said such and such about me. When we were at Hannaford, my husband confused x and y, and ultimately we ended up having z for dinner. I once went to this place, which my husband always talks about doing again sometime, and I saw this thing...