People Not Taking Writing Seriously, Part 2: Non-writers
I'm very fortunate that the non-writers in my life take me and my work seriously (for the most part). Many are not so lucky. If you have a writer friend, here are some gentle reminders...
Writing is hard work.
- I don't know why writing isn't given the same respect as say, practicing to be a concert pianist or a gourmet chef, but it does require just as much practice, training, understanding of theory, and hours of hard work. It's not as simple as sitting down and transcribing your thoughts onto the page. It's a complicated craft, and a single sentence can represent years of studying theory and wordsmithing. We need community, critique, lots of books to read, and if possible, events and mentors IRL. If you know someone who is working on a novel, respect how much time and dedication it requires.
Writing takes a long time.
- Similarly, but a slightly different point: a novel takes a long time to write, especially if it's your first. Practiced writers take months; if you have a day job and a lot to learn, often it's years. Then, the thing that's hard to make non-writers understand: writing is rewriting. Say your friend spent a year "finishing" their novel. Great! Hooray! Huge accomplishment! Now understand, they may spend another year revising it. It needs a second draft, and a third, and more, and beta readers, and more drafts after that. In all likelihood, they're dying to finish it and self-conscious about how long it takes, so be mindful not to pester. Instead of asking, "When is your book going to be published?" maybe ask, "What revision are you on?" (I'm not even sure it's a good idea to ask "How are revisions going?" because sometimes it's too frustrating to talk about!)
Publishing takes a long time.
- "Is your book out yet?" "It's only been a month since you asked me last time." I know a few months feels like aeons in your head, but the publishing industry takes longer than that. I'm seeing tweets from people getting book deals right now (as in, this week), and their release date is 2020. Even after those zillion years I was just talking about to write and rewrite the book, once all is said and done and it's in the publisher's hands, don't expect it for a few years yet. And trust me, if you're good friends with a writer, you will not miss it when their book does come out. ;)
Not having a book deal doesn't mean someone isn't a serious writer.
- The benchmark for "real" writer is not whether they have something published, or something about to be published. As soon as someone starts writing seriously, and devotes all that hard work I was talking about in the first point, they are a legitimate, hard-working writer.
Writing time is working time.
- I know it looks like we're fussing around on our laptop. You might even glance over and see us scrolling through images on a google search, or something else seemingly frivolous. It's not frivolous, and interruptions are awful. Writers need time and space to focus. It's not an open invitation to send them on errands, help out around the house, or make phone calls because "you're not doing anything anyway." I don't personally have this problem, as even before switching to full-time, my husband and family always checked if I was working on writing and gave me space if I was--however, I have some friends who care barely get anything done, because their family or SO has zero respect for their writing time, and constantly requests their attention for things. Consider it the same as doing any other type of working-at-home. Even if it's not the day job, it's work, and should be respected like a part-time job.
Be honest with them.
- This one depends on the writer. My husband knows his job is to cheer me on and agree with whatever I say--but I also have a hardcore writing group and a huge network of writing communities. One of my CP's husband is her alpha reader, and he does critique and provide honest feedback. It's all about the expected dynamic. Your writer friend may share a draft with you simply to get some encouragement, but if they ask for honest critique, give it. You do them no favors with flattery. If you were bored, say so! That's what they want to know, why they gave it to you! If they're expecting you to be a proper beta reader, I'm sure they're used to much harsher feedback than anything you could say, and what they want/need is an honest reader reaction. Don't hold back!
Have I missed anything important? Writers, feel free to air your grievances in the comments.
Writing is hard work.
- I don't know why writing isn't given the same respect as say, practicing to be a concert pianist or a gourmet chef, but it does require just as much practice, training, understanding of theory, and hours of hard work. It's not as simple as sitting down and transcribing your thoughts onto the page. It's a complicated craft, and a single sentence can represent years of studying theory and wordsmithing. We need community, critique, lots of books to read, and if possible, events and mentors IRL. If you know someone who is working on a novel, respect how much time and dedication it requires.
Writing takes a long time.
- Similarly, but a slightly different point: a novel takes a long time to write, especially if it's your first. Practiced writers take months; if you have a day job and a lot to learn, often it's years. Then, the thing that's hard to make non-writers understand: writing is rewriting. Say your friend spent a year "finishing" their novel. Great! Hooray! Huge accomplishment! Now understand, they may spend another year revising it. It needs a second draft, and a third, and more, and beta readers, and more drafts after that. In all likelihood, they're dying to finish it and self-conscious about how long it takes, so be mindful not to pester. Instead of asking, "When is your book going to be published?" maybe ask, "What revision are you on?" (I'm not even sure it's a good idea to ask "How are revisions going?" because sometimes it's too frustrating to talk about!)
Publishing takes a long time.
- "Is your book out yet?" "It's only been a month since you asked me last time." I know a few months feels like aeons in your head, but the publishing industry takes longer than that. I'm seeing tweets from people getting book deals right now (as in, this week), and their release date is 2020. Even after those zillion years I was just talking about to write and rewrite the book, once all is said and done and it's in the publisher's hands, don't expect it for a few years yet. And trust me, if you're good friends with a writer, you will not miss it when their book does come out. ;)
Not having a book deal doesn't mean someone isn't a serious writer.
- The benchmark for "real" writer is not whether they have something published, or something about to be published. As soon as someone starts writing seriously, and devotes all that hard work I was talking about in the first point, they are a legitimate, hard-working writer.
Writing time is working time.
- I know it looks like we're fussing around on our laptop. You might even glance over and see us scrolling through images on a google search, or something else seemingly frivolous. It's not frivolous, and interruptions are awful. Writers need time and space to focus. It's not an open invitation to send them on errands, help out around the house, or make phone calls because "you're not doing anything anyway." I don't personally have this problem, as even before switching to full-time, my husband and family always checked if I was working on writing and gave me space if I was--however, I have some friends who care barely get anything done, because their family or SO has zero respect for their writing time, and constantly requests their attention for things. Consider it the same as doing any other type of working-at-home. Even if it's not the day job, it's work, and should be respected like a part-time job.
Be honest with them.
- This one depends on the writer. My husband knows his job is to cheer me on and agree with whatever I say--but I also have a hardcore writing group and a huge network of writing communities. One of my CP's husband is her alpha reader, and he does critique and provide honest feedback. It's all about the expected dynamic. Your writer friend may share a draft with you simply to get some encouragement, but if they ask for honest critique, give it. You do them no favors with flattery. If you were bored, say so! That's what they want to know, why they gave it to you! If they're expecting you to be a proper beta reader, I'm sure they're used to much harsher feedback than anything you could say, and what they want/need is an honest reader reaction. Don't hold back!
Have I missed anything important? Writers, feel free to air your grievances in the comments.
All very good points. Yes, I spend a lot of time googling stuff - most recently it's been Dutch profanity, go figure :) - and anyone looking over my shoulder would wonder what I was up to.
ReplyDeleteI find in-person acquaintances more useful for encouragement than serious critique, and I avoid putting people on the spot for honest advice. Oddly enough, my local library writers group ran a monthly critique group that they've now renamed to support group because they realized that was more in keeping with what actually happened. I use online forums of other writers for serious critiques.