The Worst Part of Writing
I've finally realized what the worst, hardest, most frustrating thing about writing is for me. It took a few instances across a few different projects, but I've just noticed this is consistently the thing that sticks me in one place for weeks on end.
Editing a chapter to finally work, then realize it doesn't work and have to scrap it. Multiple times in a row.
Ending of my first book? A month of rewriting and throwing out chapters. Beginning of my second book? Another month of rewriting and throwing out chapters. In the drafting stages, I can get through it by reminding myself that I can fix all this crap later. In the editing stages, it is "later," and time to fix that crap.
It's never the same issue twice, so it's not like I can predict and avoid. I suppose it's related to the fact that I largely "discovery write," and ideas crystallize as words form on the page. I may write through an entire scene, and then realize near the end there's one problem left--which throws the rest of the scene into a new light, and it turns out there's some major pacing or arc issue, and to fix this last problem I'll have to move all the stuff I just edited into the first part of the chapter.
For example. In my last major revision round for Book 1, so many important pieces changed about the antagonist and side characters, I ended up needing to rewrite the ending. I hadn't planned on doing that, since I had just rewritten the ending to be much better in the previous revision. Oh well. So I forged through, and then noticed that none of the new stuff fit well in context. It was a solid chapter, but not a solid climax, because it didn't draw enough on existing threads. So all the thousands of words there got binned. Then in the new iteration, half the emotional beats I'd tried to save now sounded shoehorned in. Chapter binned again. And on and on we went...
At the time, I thought it was an "ending" thing. Like, maybe I'm just bad at endings (maybe that's still true). But now I've been through that process more than once, and I'm facing it again for the beginning of a new novel. In this case, it's an awkward balancing act with the learning curve, fitting in all the worldbuilding and backstory needed for one of the main characters in his first two or three chapters.
It's slow, and it's defeating. Instead of blazing through draft words, I'm chiseling out the details, which is difficult to begin with. Add into that the need to rearrange paragraphs and scenes, and it's this awful mix of "I have no idea how to fix this," then "I fixed it! Just one or two issues left!" followed by, "Wait... everything I did this week needs to be redone."
Blargh.
Editing a chapter to finally work, then realize it doesn't work and have to scrap it. Multiple times in a row.
Ending of my first book? A month of rewriting and throwing out chapters. Beginning of my second book? Another month of rewriting and throwing out chapters. In the drafting stages, I can get through it by reminding myself that I can fix all this crap later. In the editing stages, it is "later," and time to fix that crap.
It's never the same issue twice, so it's not like I can predict and avoid. I suppose it's related to the fact that I largely "discovery write," and ideas crystallize as words form on the page. I may write through an entire scene, and then realize near the end there's one problem left--which throws the rest of the scene into a new light, and it turns out there's some major pacing or arc issue, and to fix this last problem I'll have to move all the stuff I just edited into the first part of the chapter.
For example. In my last major revision round for Book 1, so many important pieces changed about the antagonist and side characters, I ended up needing to rewrite the ending. I hadn't planned on doing that, since I had just rewritten the ending to be much better in the previous revision. Oh well. So I forged through, and then noticed that none of the new stuff fit well in context. It was a solid chapter, but not a solid climax, because it didn't draw enough on existing threads. So all the thousands of words there got binned. Then in the new iteration, half the emotional beats I'd tried to save now sounded shoehorned in. Chapter binned again. And on and on we went...
At the time, I thought it was an "ending" thing. Like, maybe I'm just bad at endings (maybe that's still true). But now I've been through that process more than once, and I'm facing it again for the beginning of a new novel. In this case, it's an awkward balancing act with the learning curve, fitting in all the worldbuilding and backstory needed for one of the main characters in his first two or three chapters.
It's slow, and it's defeating. Instead of blazing through draft words, I'm chiseling out the details, which is difficult to begin with. Add into that the need to rearrange paragraphs and scenes, and it's this awful mix of "I have no idea how to fix this," then "I fixed it! Just one or two issues left!" followed by, "Wait... everything I did this week needs to be redone."
Blargh.
It's tough and disheartening, but it sounds like you're describing business as usual for a writer. The readers only get to see the finished product, not all the heartache along the way, but keep at it and I'm sure it will all settle into place in the end.
ReplyDeleteI'm tempted to answer with an advertisement for planning ahead, but if you're a pantser, that probably won't work . . . :)
DeleteIt may be that you can find some combination of preplanning and winging it that works for you. For instance, you might lay out the overall arc, but develop the details as you go along. Or sketch a batch of mini-detailed scenes, enough to "spot out" the overall plotline, then go back and fill in.
Or something like that. :)
Rick
Thanks for the support, guys! I *wish* things stuck to plan :( For my third book I'm trying to do a more in-depth outline before starting, so we'll see if I have any better outline luck this time around.
Delete